i never claimed to be your social butterfly

i do not like to go to parties
i do not like dancing to dawn
with sweaty, smelly people at afterparties
or stepshows that last all night
i do not like the taste of beer
or the smell of smoke on the wind
hanging like a raincloud in the air
threatening to downpour
(smoke makes me gag, damn you,
ruin your lungs away from my presence)

i never claimed to be your social butterfly

i do not like being around people i don't know
or give a damn about
i do not like visiting people often
at their houses full of perfection and snootiness
so that they can stare into my blank looking eyes
(it is quite a feat to look forever bored to death)
and hear them ask "what is wrong with her now?"
nothing is wrong with me,
i simply do not enjoy your bantering
take me back home it is where i am happiest.

i never claimed to be your social butterfly

i have established my canon of friends
my circles are set and made
i have those whom i occupy myself with at college,
where our love of anime and gaming
keep me one of the many
my online list of compatriots has been the same
for over a year and i stick to them all
it is how i met the one who is my soulmate
and i never had to flirt or be anything
other than who i am

i never claimed to be your social butterfly

i do not wish for the finest clothes
or the coolest outfits
or what is trendy or fashionable
in cosmos or mademoiselle
i am happy in loose sweatshirts and baggy jeans
with untied long worn black tennis shoes
my hair messy and pulled back
and my nail polish chipped and uncared for
because personally, i have better things to do
than look like a magazine cover

i never claimed to be your social butterfly

my moth-like wings are not flashy or shiny
their hue is a subdues shade of navy
with touches of black and white here and there-
strong enough to let me fly
but not made for idle fluttering from flower to flower
just slow and steady to keep me up
long enough to get me to where i want to be
and then they set me down carefully
and sit there quietly
because they are not there to draw attention

i never claimed to be your social butterfly

i am dull i do not turn many heads
i do not dance in the light
with the other glimmering sprites
that twinkle and sparkle
living for the moment they are in
but social butterflies are a fast-dying bunch
their wings do not dazzle forever
some are set aflame by the very fire they embrace
and if this is not their death then they suffer a slow fade
and soon lay still with tattered ruined wings
their lives are no longer than it takes a flower to bloom
and they die with the first cold snap of the wintertime

therefore
i never claimed to be your social butterfly
and i never will be