November
28, 2000
Standing Up for My Love of Pikachu
First of all, I don't love Pikachu. I just like a catchy name. I'm a Pyro Trainer.
This is a rant I originally posted at The Pokemasters. A person, known as Gman611 as , came to the board asking, in a very logical way, why we bothered liking Pokemon. He stated reasons. Everything he said, word for word, is in blue. I did not edit his speech. And my replies are in white. You can look at this. I don't have to say much else. Everything I want to say is there.
******
You know, I've yet to see a step-by-step analysis of his points. Well, not a lot. I learned this method at that Place to Kill All Hope, the Bode. Lemme throw out a step by step opinion. His quotes will be in blue, mine in white. And sir, I have read your whole arguement before I started. So I can analyze your arguement.
This is my arguement. If you find it valid, tell me. If not, explain to the whole forum why I'm wrong. This was originally posted by me at www.pokemonhaters.co.uk and is modified to fit being posted on a G-Rated Pokemon Loving fan site, I.E. Toned down for you wimps. Take your time in reading this 'essay' on why Pokemon is stupid. And it's technically not spamming, 'cause I'm providing valid points. Oh, do YOU know what **** -fighting is?
First of all, I'm not a G-rated person/wimp. Don't assume we're pacifists cause we like Pokemon. I would tell you to read the fics I write, but you might not like the Pokemon tones. I'm a 20 year old who likes the game, anime, and some of the mechandise. Take a quick step into the Bode, UPN, or places like that. Some places are cutthroat. Some are not. That was a generazation and I quite resent it. And I don't know what fighting you are talking about. I admit this.
You know, I can't understand why people like pokemon. It's stupid. AND I can back that up. I'm coming here to tell all yous because I don't like to see people suffer and become destitute, and you all come to www.pokemonhaters.co.uk or other places and bother us. This is the first time I've come to a Pokemon site to post about the evils of Pokemon. Now let me get down to explaining.
I can't understand why people hate Pokemon. Then again, parents can't understand why I hate the Purple Pedophile. So I'm not faulting you on that. As for becoming destitute, that' only for a parent who believes buying their child anything they want will give them love. I've yet to spend more than about 300 bucks, and most of that was the investment in my Gameboy and games. I didn't own a Gameboy before. As for people who go to anti-pokemon sites and say, "You suck!" I am against them. I say you stay on your side, I stay on mine. No one gets killed.
First off, the cards. They are just small pieces of cardboard with chrome and ink on them, depicting 'America's, Japan's, France's, England's, and the entire free world's latest craze'. That said, if they are just that, why the big fuss? Why so expensive? If you can't think of an answer, not many would be able to.
Ever heard of Baseball/Football/Sports cards? Those are little pieces of cardboard with ink and stuff, and they have been around for decades. They have rares, some even out of print that are worth thousands. Now, I'm not saying that you have ever spent money on those or that Pokemon will ever reach that point, but this is the same thing in a way. The only difference is that sports cards are only good to stare at. You can't organize a football game with your sports cards. You can look at them, read them, and that's it. Pokemon cards may be used to "battle" with decks. Think of it as Magic: The Gathering with a simpler rulebook. (Ever heard of Magic?) It's a fantasy world, and we choose to own the cards that help make our fantasy a little more real when we play.
Second thing, Blatant Advertising. First, there were, at the very most, two Pokemon commercials every month, no billboards, no internet banners. But now, what doesn't have the prefix 'Poke-'? I saw a jar of grape jelly pimping, yes, that's right, Pokemon. My reaction could be summed up in three words. What the ****...
You know, I'm going to have to agree with you on this. Some commercials are frightening. But that's their way. You know, many children's toys have extremely stupid cartoons behind them. And long ago, many things used to have every sort of thing behind them? Anyone here remember "Robin Hood: Prince of Theives" cereal? (If not, I feel so old... O_o It was crap. lemme say that.) And Barbie....Ugh.."Dress up like a fairy princess and snag a man, cause it's a "Great time to be a Girl." Whatever. The commercials/products range from cool to crappy. But so does everything.
Third thing. The show. Combine crappy animation, a brain-dead plot, a couple of playful, bouncy, colorful, and at the same time, retarded cast of characters, and you've got Pokemon: the television show.
Put together a gay man with a bunch of annoying sons. Add a woman with a dead husband and three spoiled brats of daughters. Throw them all in one house, add a smart-mouthed housekeeper, and slap on a tune that can drive a man to tears if sang enough. Don't know what I'm saying? "Here's the Story, of a Man named Brady..." Welcome to the Brady Bunch. Better yet, Take a twiggy woman with a lot of problems. Make her work in a law office in short skirts. Change her boyfriend often and make her talk about sex in the one unisex bathroom. Make everyone in the officve hump each other, add lots of crass humor, and once in a while, play a song that's popular at the time. Welcome to Ally McBeal.
Almost any show has a crappy plotline. Look at Daytime TV. Heck, look at Primetime. And as for the animation--it's called anime. It's a style. And Pokemon isn't the only show...there's hundreds, and some just like Pokemon. Using your principles again...
Take a whiny crybaby with weird hair. Give her a lipstick tube. Tell her to shout a phrase that ends in "Make up" and become pretty in a short skirt with ribbons and lace and high heeled boots. Add many new characters in the fray, and make them all girls in short skirts and makeup. Even the gay one. Make them all fight to save the world in outfits that would get the average person in much trouble with their parents. And of course, make sure it's crappy animation. Anyone recognize Sailor moon? I love that series. But using your formula, I can make it sound bad. =P
I *HAD* a little **** of a friend. He liked Pokemon. I didn't. I tried to save him from the fiery pits of hell, but he didn't care. He teased ME. A person who sat in his dirty **** hole of room playing Pokemon on a low-res LCD screen with the most annoying sound setup (DON'T get me started with Nintendo 64's and the Gameboy's crap graphics, horrible control, catridges... Oh wait, I did start.) for hours at a time, not eating, no social contact with anyone unless they wanted to battle or trade. And again. What the ****.
So you dropped a friendship over a game? Smooth. I have numerous friends who can't stand everything I like. I have friends who cringe at anime, friends who hate 80's music, friends who would beat me over the head with a pole if I asked them to croon at my Eevee plush. But I'm not about to force them to my ways or judge them. As for bad graphics--Gameboy games are not meant to be as advanced as, oh, FF9. Pokemon is supposed to be portable. Hence the name of "Pocket Monsters." You want great graphics...you can't picture things in your head without visuals...you sir, lack in imagination.
And what about the movie? Where else can you go to see a full-blown media extravaganza on the big screen? Anyone? (Well, now it's out of the theatres, thank God, but I have to make this point) The Movie Theatre. Of course, they gave away promotional cards, lines were half an hour long for ANY movie because they wouldn't form a separate line for Pokemon, kids were screaming, crying, yelling, running around. It sucked.
I don't know about you, but I didn't bother going to the movies. I knew what would happen and stayed home and waited for video. So they gave away cards. So the lines were long. Titanic didn't have anything going for it but Leo's gay face, and it grossed way up there and the lines were hysterically long. And let's not discuss the travesty that was lines at Star Wars Epi. 1. Long lines for days. Hours long. You can't wait thirty minutes? I've waited two hours in a line, and that was signing up for college. You don't like kids running around or long lines so you can see whatever?? Go to a late night showing of the movie you want to see. Trust me, they show movies after the snot nosed twits have been tucked into bed with their Pika Plush.
The Pokemon Snap game? What the hell is with that? Take pictures of Pokemon, then what? Get points? For what? And it still sold lots, even though you could hardly tell what was going on because of the crap graphics. Just because it's Pokemon. If you just had any game on the N64 taking pictures of normal animals, no one would buy it.
Okay, I admit, as many people do, that that was a waste. But for those who like it--it gives you a chance to think about how to take a picture right. How to think and plan and startegize. And those skills can be applied outside the game. As for the fact that no one would buy one with normal animals--I would, to improve my own photography skills. And it is supposed to have a cartoonish feel. It's not a perfect game. No game is perfect.
It's just pissing me off how low Nintendo and Game Freaks are going. Hmm. I think I just covered everything. Wait. Someone said to me a long time ago, 'Pokemon is made for the enjoyment of 6-10 year olds.' Then why, tell me, are 11-16 year olds liking it too? What is this world coming to when that happens? They don't seem to understand that this crap is for 'little children'? Pokemon is in catalogues on the same page as the Teletubbies, Barney, Barbie, and other stuff like that. Bloody hell.
6 year olds cannot read enough to play the card games. They cannot operate the controls on the game. They chew on the cards and whine to get their way. I hate the way it's targeted in America. So they lump it with the kid's stuff. Big whoop. I know that many things are not kid's stuff. The cards clearly say on the pack "Recomended for children ages 10 and up." And up. Not "and down." If you look at Japanese sites, many of them are much older than 10. People of all ages there like Pokemon cause it's not seen as a child's thing. Blame America. They have a fanbase in the 13-20 group, but by ignoring them, they are losing out. If you read my fics, and I took out every Pokemon reference, you would see that they are fairly dramatic. You might never know they were Pokemon fiction except for the fact I say that they are. My fics, especially the dark ones, are not for children. "Day of the Barney", a sweet and now lost fic about the Magenta Menace being a Dark Overlord, would have made a tottler wet himself.
As for Children's crap, I know 30 year olds who will rip out hair for a Malibu Barbie. There are designers that are way over the age of childhood that have designed Barbie outfits that have the delecate nature of a one-of-a-kind. Just cause the advisers point to kids doesn't mean those older than the target audience can't love them too.
Well, to all the Pokemon lovers who are reading this, (Oh my God! He's totally comprimising our brain-washing!) play a better game. Go outside. Socialize. Or at (The very) least, play it in moderation. To this I also say. If anyone has a problem with all the points I have just made, e-mail me. If I have left out something, e-mail me. If you just want to flame or hate me, go ahead. That just give me more ammo to fight off Pokemon, because you are all weak at making points.
I don't play other games. I'm just not good at them. And I socialize. I don't live in a closet and play Pokemon all day. I met my fiance through Pokemon, would you believe that? We have lives away from our gameboys and the net. We aren't all closet freaks like the person you mentioned above. And I have made very many good points. Before you discount my points, you have to admit, I made very good points. I thought them out carefully, and they took me a while to write. But they are fairly thourough.
I.E, "OMG! STFU! POKEMON RULZ! ASH WILL KIK YOUR ***!" I pity you.
I pity you for generalizing like that. So far, none of us have came at you like that. And, seeing the age of many of us, I doubt that you will get this.
-Gman611 'Hating Pokemon since day one' Parting Shot: People are stupid, and stupid people run the world. Either way, we're screwed with either Pokemon or some other Half-***ed Crap.
Hating since day one? You never gave it a chance. Stupid people only run the world when the smart ones do not fight back. And I'd rather give my money to NOA than to something like the Lyons Corporation, who blatantly over advertize that Purple Thing.
P.S. I have a question. Why do all you, when you play Pokemon, you say every ****ing thing that goes on? Well? I mean, really! 'Oh WOW! My Pikachu's on a tree and he's dancing! Goodness gracious me!'
Stereotype. I might shriek at somethings. But I've seen gamers do that often. They holler at the game. I hollered at Super Mario Brothers back in the 80's when I got shot by the bullet.
P.P.S. Go ahead, BAN ME! I've made my point already, so you can't do anything! Well, what are you going to do? Use your 'super-special Pokemon Powers'? Send a Pikachu after me? You are so weak. Goodbye, Schitzos!
Stereotype.
P.P.S. Hey Hey Hey! I'm coming again tomorrow with more fun an' goodness!
Alas, you ask for me to do this again.
And that, my fellow Pokemaniacs, is the deal from a member of the 18+ crowd. Read away. If you made it all the way through, any of you, good for you. If you skipped this for length, and are at the end, you should take time out to read it. Trust me, I made good points.