February 25, 2002
Condoms on a
Banana:
Teaching Safe Sex In America
Ah, sex. The final frontier. (Yes, I know people think it's Space, but that's not my opinion.) I've been reading the news lately, which is a god thing as it keeps me from being stupid. My fave part, though, is the opinion pages. I like to see the logic of people's opinions. Guess it helps to set mine firmer.
Anyhow, to the point. I read the Chronicle this morning and there's a little op-ed piece on Colin Powell. You know, the Secretary of State? Republican black dude. Well, on MTV he was asked if the Catholic Church's position on contraceptives. (If you don't know this, they don't believe in any birth control. Just hope you don't get pregnant. But that's a whole nother rant). Anyways, he said something along the lines of, "Well, Abstinence is best, but if you're going ot have sex, prevent disease and use a condom."
Well, the Republicans/Conservatives/Religious Right just got their panties in a knot over that one. Ken Connor (President of the conservative Family Research Council, said that this was reckless, irresponsible, and a slap in the face to the conservative base.
Well, fuck. This is probably one of the stupidest things I've heard ina long time.
Now, don't get me wrong. I think abstinence is the best way to avoid getiing knocked up. I practiced it for a long time. (Still do at times.) But abstinence will only take a kid so far. I know, I got the same lectures in sex ed as anyone before high school. Basically they all run the same way. Kids are beat over the head with, "Don't have sex, don't have sex, don't have sex. Or your private parts will get covered in warts (insert graphical picture of genital warts here) and fall off!" *wagging of finger and frowning*
News flash, people. Teenagers are having sex. Dont' think that Abstinence Only Sex ed always works. Hell, I don't think it does work. They are going to have sex, no matter what you say. For every kid out there not having sex, there's one somewhere who is. Teenagers are having sex, getting pregnant, getting diseases, sleeping around, etc. I can personally attest to at least three people who are in about my age range who had babies when they were not even out of high school. And a lot of them have gross misinformation and myths as their only knowledge.
You won't get pregnant if you haven't started your period yet. (You can too, as girls ovulate before menses.) You can't get pregnant if you do it in a pool. (No.) You can't get pregnant if you do it with the girl on top. (Yes you can.) You can't get pregnant if you douche with Coke. (Not only can you get pregnant and shove the sperm up higher, you just might get an infection when the yeast in your vagina gets a hold of all that sugar!) Two condoms are better than one. (No, no, no.) If you pull out before the guy ejaculates, then you won't get pregnant. (Pre ejaculate alone has millions of sperm. It only takes one.) These are just a few of the myths surrounding sex--and almost no one out there is trying to dispel the myths when they teach kids.
Masturbation is the safest sex you can have. The only way it's dirty is if you don't wash your hands (or whatever device you use, I'm not gonna gloss over the facts of the matter). You will not go blind, get hairy palms, or go crazy. (If that was true, there would be a bunch of blind insane fuzzy people running around). But if you're gonna involve another person's body in the process of getting off, do some protection. Get some tests. Make sure he/she is clean, and willing to use a condom, correctly, everytime. Once is all it takes to mess you over. And if you're not gonna use it, you'd best stick to something that won't make little funky sores sprout on you and make you itch and ooze from places things should not ooze.
And all you people out there who won't fact the facts or pretend that kids aren't having sex--you're helping to fuck over the youth of America. Tell them the facts. It might not be the most glorious way. And it's not an endorsement. It's teaching the truth. If you can educate your child about adult dangers such as driving safely, you can teach them how to keep themselves safe if they're gonna take the next step into sex. Long ago children (at least girls) were married off when they started to get those feelings of hormones and sex, and now they're expected to wait much longer. I don't doubt they can wait. but if they want to stick their feet in the pool, they'd better know something about swimming or you're gonna watch them drown. AIDS, HIV, herpes, and other diseases are murdering our kids, and people are ignoring the facts. It's a disgrace to think that your kid won't experiment.
My view is (this goes to adults and teens) don't have sex if you're not in a stable, honest, long term relationship. (And by long term I mean a lifetime commitment, not four weeks.) But if you're gonna have sex, have the safest sex possible. Protect yourself everytime. And don't lie to your kids, parents. It's much scarier telling them the facts that watching them die or fuck up (no pun intented) because you didn't. Sit down and talk and don't just snow them.
If you're a teen and/or you want to know the facts, go to Scarleteen. They give you the real truth on the whole issue of sex and sexuality. And they don't talk down to you. Learn what you're doing before you do it.
Learn for your own protection.